What? Aren't mid-lifers supposed to go through crisis?
Maybe, but not this woman. You see, I lead an exciting life. No, I'm not a secret spy discovering conspiracies against the people of the United States, I'm not a famous actor or director, I don't live in a magnificent house and I don't jump on a private jet to go across the continents to catch bad guys.
I live an extraordinary ordinary life. The reason my life is so extraordinary is because I belong to God the Father, His Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is my counselor. And because I belong to the Triune God, I am also give a vision that is beyond my ability to see it through by myself.
I've talked about my vision before and am talking about it again. I can't express how many times God has spoken to me to confirm this vision through His word and through walking in the mornings every day. Even though it still seems like a dream that's going to be years in the making, I already know that my vision has progressed further than when I was first given it.
Ebenezer Productions is that much closer to becoming a reality you can see (not just me) because our first feature length film is coming closer to becoming a reality. God has given me assignments to complete to help me become ready for this huge, beyond-my-capacity-to-accomplish dream. Some of these assignments I have completed and some I still have yet to complete.
The most recent assignment is to schedule people to do a read on my script, Shots in the Dark, to find the weaknesses and flaws in it. Now you may wonder why that's such a big thing for me. Its a big thing because I don't like organizing people for events. It's not something I enjoy and in fact, I often dread it when I have to do it.
But to be a director of films, one needs this skill.
Last week I prayed about it, asking God to help me figure this out, and before I knew it, the day was set and the people invited and accepted and all of this happened before 7:30 a.m.!
One of the ways God has continued to encourage me is through His Word. He has given me many verses to encourage me in special ways that help me know His hand was in bringing them to my attention.
One is Isaiah 46:4:
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
For You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord shall enlighten my darkness. For by You I can run against a troop; by my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust Him.
This is what the Lord says to (Coleen), "It is not by might or by power, but by my Spirit," says the Lord of Heaven's Armies, "nothing, not even a mighty mountain will stand in (Coleen's) way."
By the lifestyle and death of Hunter S. Thompson, one can see he did not trust in the God I trust in, but even humans who have no desire to belong to Jesus have a measure of wisdom given to them by the Lord God. Hunter S. Thompson said two things that I hope my life can live through Jesus:
"The Edge...there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow! What a Ride'"
Rich Mullins prayer was answered. He went out like Elijah. I pray that for myself too. So far, the Lord is giving me that kind of life. I expect to live it out to the last, and when He calls me home, my body is going to be a mess, but I'm going to proclaim loudly, even though human hears won't be able to hear, "Wow! Thanks Lord; what a ride!"