On Sunday, as I wrote in a previous blog, I began to think, “So what if I have the building? Just because I own a building doesn't mean we'll make movies.” On and on it went, and I was feeling very discouraged. I knew it was coming, so it didn't really come as a surprise. Satan is very subtle and he certainly doesn't want us believing God would provide.
Then after awhile I began to doubt my motives. That's no surprise either.
Finally I asked the Lord to help me through the difficulties I was having and fell asleep with that prayer in my head. One of the things I'd forgotten about myself was in the evening the enemy can attack me most easily and effectively when he waits until the evening when I'm tired.
This morning as I prayed, I talked to the Lord about this, and asked him for help in these types of mind conversations. I know where it originates, and I know my human self (with no faith) betrays me to the enemy every opportunity it can. I asked the Lord to help me with the tenacity I am going to need to pray through, as the book The Circle Maker suggests.
I told the Lord all the things that were going on in my mind the night before even though I know he knows all about them. I feel that if our mother, Eve, told God and her husband, Dad-Adam, what the serpent was telling her, I think there would have been a different outcome. I believe the story of Adam and Eve's fall is included in the Bible so that we can learn from their mistakes. So when I know the enemy is telling them, I run to Dad and say, “do you know what he's telling me?”
After my morning time with the Lord and feeling his presence so strongly I was ready for my day of believing the impossible from God. It's not hard for me in the morning; that's for sure!
Later I took John to work and saw one of his coworkers who is always glad to see me. We didn't say much more than hello, but it seemed with that little encounter the Lord told me something else I'd not thought of before.
One of the things the Lord is doing with me and John is that he is flipping us.
No. Let me explain: it seems to me that most people are going to do what they do in their adult life between their twenties, to maybe their fifties, and then they retire. John is ooching up to 60 and I'm some five years behind him, but rather than slowing down, I believe our lives are getting ready to ramp up and people around us are going to see some amazing things. Things that can only be explained by acknowledging the Lord of our lives.
As I thought about the concept of being flipped, I got excited. Then, when I came home and looked at my computer photograph (the church I'm believing God for) I realized the connection between the name I've chosen (Ebenezer Films) and the fact that the building is made of stone.
Yes! I know the building is made of stone! Yes! I know Ebenezer means Rock of Help. I just didn't put the two symbols together! And it rained again today!
God is SO good.
Maybe my praying through about this will mean praying through until I die?
And what of that? If that is what God wills, so be it. It happened with David and his desire to build the temple, it happened with Dr. Cook with the First Baptist Family Life Center. It happened with many of the great heroes of my faith as recorded in Hebrews 11. The writer of Hebrews says, “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.” (Hebrews 11:13)
If it is God's will that Ebenezer Films is not born until I die, then let it be as God knows best. God's Will, God's Way. The fact is, I'd rather live my life burning out like a meteor than to be skimming along the edge of the pond of mediocrity. So, if it means going out with an explosion, then show me the matches and gasoline!