Unless one has experienced a deeply spiritual moment, one cannot comprehend what it is like, but I would like to try to describe with my imperfect words my feelings about this few moments that left a beautiful but somewhat painful mark on me.
The words this song comes from are based on Revelations chapters 4-6. Let me set up the scenario: John, Jesus’ disciple, is now an old man and has been exiled to an island where he was given a vision of the last days of this earth. The first three chapters of the book are written instructions by Jesus using John as his writing tool to the different churches in different provinces.
In chapter 4, John starts to describe his experience. He first says he hears a voice that invites him to come through a door in heaven. When he does he finds himself in a throne room standing in front of a throne with someone sitting on it. This is how he describes that person, “The one sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones—like jasper and carnelian. And the glow of an emerald circled his throne like a rainbow.”
As I began to sing this song, I began to feel a transformation that took me to the very Throne Room of God. I “saw” the rainbows of living color, the flashes of light and heard and felt the rolls of thunder and I found myself singing, as if I was one who was among those actually singing when John first saw this mighty and awesome vision.
It wasn’t at all that I was singing beautifully. It was a complete unawareness of my abilities. All I wanted to do was sing with those around me in praise to the only One who deserves all praise; and it didn’t matter that I was singing off key. I, with all creation, was giving my adoration to the great King of all kings, the Lamb that was slain from the foundation of the world. I know I didn’t want to ever stop singing that song of praise to the One who loves me so perfectly, and not just me but the millions of people who have ever existed.
I have felt the Presence of the Lord many times, and most times it’s a feeling of peace and security, but this time, as I stood in worship service I felt such a weight on me of the awesomeness of God that the beauty was painful and even now, two days later, it still pierces me. It was as if my whole being, every cell, every atom in my body wanted to give all and more but I could not give enough praise to God.
I cannot guarantee that anyone else will ever feel what I felt on Sunday morning, but it is my prayer that each person who reads my words will find themselves experiencing what I experienced. I hope I don’t easily forget it. A new view of heaven has opened up to me and it makes me look forward to being there, maybe then my whole being will know how to give all to the One who is enthroned above.