We all wonder about who we are and why we’re here. I know we all wonder if we’re accomplishing what we’re supposed to be accomplishing and many of us who are now middle age struggle with believing that we haven’t accomplished much in our lives.
Recently I began to wonder if my life is a positive influence on others. It isn’t that I am unsatisfied with my life, but it’s more like a builder using a plumb line to make sure the building is still straight. I wanted to make sure my walk with the Lord is as it should be. So I asked him to help me see what kind of life I am leading and to show me where I need to improve. I also admitted that I realize some aspects of our lives as others see it should not be known to us for various reasons. I asked the Lord to show me what I need to see as he knows best. After praying that first day, which happened to be Valentine’s Day, I felt a keen awareness that the Lord was going to answer my prayer and it was a proper prayer to pray. I started a new study on his Unfailing Love and Faithfulness.
My habit is to pray first (I write my prayers) and then ask the Lord to help me hear his voice and feel his presence as I read my Bible. That day, I read a verse I know very well, “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?” (Numbers 23:9) To me, and I can’t explain why, the Lord was giving me his assurance that he would answer my prayer. I felt confident and comfortable in letting him show me how best to answer my request.
My life went on as usual, but I felt the Presence of the Lord throughout each day more keenly than usual; especially in the mornings. After my prayers on February 22, I was supposed to read Psalms 36:5 as my first verse. I flipped through the pages and read, “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him and he will help you.” I can’t tell you how I felt when I read that, and then saw that I wasn’t reading Psalm 36:5, but 37:5. I felt the Lord was answering my prayer just as he knew best, just what I had asked him. If I commit my life to him, as I have, and trust him, he will help my life be the meaningful life I want it to be. What a joy to hear the voice of the Lord in his Word!
I turned over to Psalm 36:5 and read, “Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.” Wow! To me these two verses go exactly together! And since I’m writing a science fiction, it was exactly what I needed. My writing will be used by the Lord if I commit it to him and trust him with it. My life will be used by the Lord as I commit it to him on a daily basis and trust him with it! What joy; I can’t fail because I have Jesus who gives me strength!
A person might say to me, “but Coleen, we all fail at things. How can you say you can’t fail?”
Well, failure is a funny thing. It can be heart breaking and embarrassing, but it can also be a friend, and through failure we find out what doesn’t work. The movie, National Treasure, reminded us of Thomas Edison’s quote and it’s a great thing to live by, “we didn’t fail, we just found one more way it didn’t work.”
Besides all that, how do we know we failed? We didn’t get the results we wanted, but maybe from God’s point of view we actually succeeded! We won’t know until we get to heaven, but we can’t dismiss the fact that we don’t see clearly. Paul said it by telling us we look through a glass darkly, or in other words, a dirty mirror. We can’t see the true us in that mirror.
There are some who might think this is Bible reading thing is a coincidence, but I know that it isn’t. I can’t explain how it happens but this isn’t the first time I have read just the right Bible verse that spoke to me at just the right time, without looking for it. I know that other Christians who read their Bible daily will say the same thing. There’s something about God’s Word that knows exactly what we need and when we need it. The Bible calls itself alive and powerful and sharper than a two edged sword, able to expose our innermost thoughts and desires. If there’s one thing I am certain about it’s that the Bible is completely and perfectly true. It’s the only writing that is.
The Bible makes some fantastic promises and claims. If you haven’t read it, pray and ask the Lord to open your eyes. Put aside any preconceived ideas about the Bible (believe me, it’s NOT boring) and start with the book of John. If you’re brave, read Esther. You’ll find both the Old Testament and New Testament the most alive book you’ll ever encounter.