In January of this year, my husband and I were asleep when we were suddenly awakened by our 21 year old calling out to us, “Mom! Dad! Someone hit our car!”
Well, the two kids who hit our car not only hit and totaled our car, but also totaled their car and totaled our scooter. They barely missed our truck. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the end result is that we got two very nice checks from their insurance company. We were also reduced to one vehicle.
Now, it would appear that this is a terrible travesty, along with the loss of my job which took away at least half our income. The reality has been that it isn't the travesty it would seem.
As we looked at the situation, we realized that this entire year has worked to our advantage We were able to finish paying off the truck and, because of some other situations in which we got some money, we were able to start some much needed work on our house as well as allow me to be off work for awhile.
And I have so enjoyed being off work. People ask me, “So, Coleen, what are you doing now that you're not working?”
I love to answer, “Anything I want!”
I have been fortunate to be able to do many things I would not have been able to do if I'd still been employed. The truth is, I've been enjoying a freedom that I have not had for a very long time. I've been able to do things I haven't had the opportunity to do because I've had to work; including the writing I've wanted to do, the photography and even learning to drive a ZTR. It's been hard for us to believe that we're operating on an extremely reduced income level.
Which proves two points:
- God's system of accounting is way beyond our comprehension.
- John and I have chosen to trust in God with all our hearts and not lean on our own understanding
We've experienced this type of provision before. When we lived in Broken Arrow, our ends always met, but we couldn't tell you how. John wasn't working, and I was commuting back to Bartlesville for my job.
Although John wasn't working a daily job, the Lord was providing odd jobs for him. We got to know a man in the church we attended, Floyd Jackson, who was a maintenance man for a nearby trailer park. The Lord provided for us in that way as well as using His...unique... math skills. Well, He's the Master/Creator of the universe. If He wants to use math in ways we don't understand, He can!
The other thing about all this is that we have a choice to trust him or try to work things out on our own. God doesn't ever force us to trust Him. He always waits for us to come to the point where we hand it over to Him and when we do, we see that we could have saved ourselves a lot of stress and sometimes even sorrow.
Even though we have always been provided for, there are times I doubt or I begin to worry, as happened just the other day. The Lord had to remind me that He's always taken care of us and always will take care of us. The beauty of this reminder is that the Lord never gets impatient with us. He waits for us to get to the point where we trust Him.
Now I am at the point where the only thing I ask of Him is that He provide what He knows we need, what best serves His purpose. That's not to say I am going to sit on my hands and wait for a job to drop in my lap. God blesses as we do what we need to do and then leave the results to Him. If He wants me to have a regular job I go to every day, He'll provide it. If He wants me to use the gifts He has given me in a way to also provide for our income, He'll provide it.
That's not to say I will never work again. John and I both feel that I'm going to have to start looking a little less casually for a job at the end of July. And what of that? The Lord provided for us by giving me the job at 21st Sensory, and it was right where I needed to be. I know He will provide the exact right job for me if that is His will; and if it's not, He'll provide a way for me not to work.
And the wonderful part of all this is the true freedom one experiences when one surrenders it all to Him: hopes, dreams, worries... all works out in His time. I love the life He has given to me. It's usually free from worry and the angst that goes along with worry.
While I'm learning to lean on Jesus more and more, I find myself living a more free life more and more. John and are are learning to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and He is directing our paths.